About my Mom

To know me is know the relationship I had with my mom.

I'm a single mother and when I find out I was pregnant my mom stood by against her personal beliefs and encourage me with all her will.

She was courageous, spontaneous, emotional and a writer.

On May 2nd, the doctor advised her that she needed a blood transfusion. She went to the emergency room and was admitted. She was given a blood transfusion and her blood count went up. The doctors decided to see why she was bleeding. They gave her the choice of going home and dying or figuring out with the chance to survive. She had always beaten the odds and it was not the first time the doctor gave her a short time to live. She doubted things but knew she was ill.

So they did a colonoscopy and thought they spotted a bump that needed to be removed. It was to be a two hour surgery. She reluctantly agreed. She did not want to come home and have her grandson see her dying. She wanted chance and she fought.

She knew after the surgery she would be in ICU and probably on life support. The surgery was to take two hours. It started at about 7pm. It kept going and going and she did not come out till 9 hours later. They could not close the wound up so she would we have to endure more surgeries.

What they found: My mom was obese. In the past she had a hernia surgery were a mesh was installed to strengthen the stomach wall. This surgery was over 10 years ago. It penetrated and was entangled in the small and large intestine. It was a nightmare.

In that week she had six more hours of surgery and the wound could still not be closed. She was still on life support. I held her hand and she squeezed mine. I talked endlessly to her telling her everything. We watched soap operas -- Days of Our Lives was her favorite.

She came off life support on Mothers Day best gift I ever had -- she was still facing more surgeries and she was nervous.

One day I came in and she told me I lied to her. She over heard the doctor saying she was lucky to be alive. She feared. When you are in that situation you do not look at the big picture you look at what is to come and be survived next. She was lucky to be alive but she was fighting and she was not giving up.

The doctor told her she had to have one more surgery and they were going to close the wound. She gave up and said she wanted to die. She had no fight left in her. 23 days in the hospital. i told her I was not ready to lose her and she had to do it. Her options were leave the wound open certain death or have surgery possibility of living. She agreed.

The surgery was to be two hours and took four. The first set back was they could not close the wound and the infection was getting worse. She was back on life support. She was awake fighting slipping into a coma and kept pointing to take the life support out. This time her body was dependent on life support. She stayed awake for two days before she slipped into a coma. I went to leave and she shook her no. I was keeping awake there was fear in her eyes. Then the doctor said her kidneys were shutting down. She was not a candidate
for dialysis because she could bleed to death. She developed septic shock and DIC and her body shut down.

All the doctors agreed she had a zero chance of any meaningful life. Reluctantly she was taken off life support June 4, 2007. She became our Angel within fifteen minutes of being removed from life support.

She fought like hell. She showed me so much strength and courage those days in the hospital.
I miss her and I love her. I know she is watching and pulling for us anyway we can.

My brother and I and my son had to move in with my aunt because we could no longer afford the rent. Everything changed and I am not the person I was before June 4, 2007 but I'm learning and discovering my new life no matter how exciting or wonderful or scary it is I am learning to try new things. I am discovering who am I and really how strong I am.